


The Tell-Tale Candy Heart

by PhoenixFire_theWizardGoddess



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: ...Remus is the actual devil's advocate, Marauder's Era, Multi, Unprankable, You would die trying, no peter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 22:50:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2043249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixFire_theWizardGoddess/pseuds/PhoenixFire_theWizardGoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tumblr Prompt, "Be Mine -Remus Lupin" AU.</p>
<p>Some might argue that the true prankster masterminds of Hogwarts in the days of the Marauders, were the incorrigible pair of Sirius Black and James Potter... but those who were there would tell you that it was Remus Lupin. <br/>Quiet, unassuming, unprankable... try, and it would backfire quite splendiforously. As his friends often learned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tell-Tale Candy Heart

"Are you serious?" one very fed-up Remus Lupin sighed, glaring down at the hard Muggle heart-shaped candy, that had come in an envelope with the morning owl post.

"No. I’m James… he’s Sirius," came the smart-arsed reply, prompting scattered laughter from all up and down Gryffindor table.

He bounced the candy off of James’ head, glaring at his fellow fifth-year with something approaching exasperation. “Dammnit, Jim, I’m your Friend, not an Object…”

It flew over several heads, but he let that go.

"Aw c’mon Moony, my Moon and Stars, you know we looooooooooove you," sang Sirius, making Remus question why on earth he was friends with that walking nightmare of a teenager. "Saaaaaaaaaaay yoooooou looooooooove me, tell meeeeeeeeeeee yoooooou dooooooooooooo!"

The young Black took a pancake to the face, but all that achieved was to muffle the sound of the song, not stop it.

"Sod off you two, and the next one to pass me a heart with something cheesy written on it will get hexed, got it…?" he snarled back, Valentines Day this year falling too close to the full moon the year for his liking.

"Remus, calm down…" James said, patting his hand, "Here, have my present to you… the real one this time…" 

A small sack of tiny heart-shaped candies was pushed under his nose, and he took them. 

"Well, most are from me, the enchanted ones are from Sirius…" James amended, a little sheepishly.

Before answering, Remus opened the sack and upended it on his clean plate with a sound like angelic gunfire, scrabbling deft fingers through them to read the majority of the imprinted phrases. Several had moving pictures on them, some more lewd than others; those he dropped back in the bag before a first-year saw them…

Completing his task, he looked back up at Sirius and James.

"B MINE 4 EVA… Really? Well alright, you two, but I am not going to be at the bottom of this dog pile… now should we have a spring wedding? I’m not wearing a dress by the way, and we’ll need flowers, probably moonflowers for the sheer irony of it all, and of course we’ll need chocolate everything and-…"

Remus continued to mindlessly ramble on about wedding plans to a growingly interested audience of all of Hogwarts as Sirius and James both suddenly began to remember why they never usually pranked the genius… because he always had the ability to make them suffer for it.

There was no getting out of this, they’d have to end up having a whole mock wedding and reception before Remus let this go…

Sirius sighed, smiled and nudged James, “Hey, at least you’ve got the legs to pull off a dress…”

James grinned back as Remus continued to make extensive plans, “Yeah, and at least this is mild compared to his revenge for that prank we pulled on Halloween…”

They both shuddered in unison, and shrugged, then jumped into the conversation about preparations, arguing about every little thing between bites of breakfast until the morning class bell rang.

* * *

**~)0(~**

**The End**


End file.
